Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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