Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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