why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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