lets start a swedish sibling band together
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The adults are the big ones right?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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