Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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