I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
