If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
