Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
