I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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