4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
