it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
