im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize