i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize