you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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