And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
