yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
