please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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