i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
