there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
He has the fingertips of a God
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