dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
