I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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