Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
