She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize