Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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