What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
