problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You made out with two different species that night
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
