3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
wanna go halves on a baby?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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