This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
