Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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