She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I need a beard to bite.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
