even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
