I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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