Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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