I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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