i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
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