doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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