Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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