Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
