Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
