Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
