I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
