That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
