I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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