hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
