So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
