Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
