either way he was missing a nipple.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize
