my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
