I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
