I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
