so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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