Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize