How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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