i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
