She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
