so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
the raccoons are back...
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