I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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