that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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