So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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