Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
