Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
