Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
