Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
