i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
