it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm just crazy horny about you
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Randomize
