Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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