Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
